


Road Trip

by Sally M (sallymn)



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: Dialogue-Only, Gen, Humor, Series 1
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-11-15
Updated: 2009-11-15
Packaged: 2017-10-02 19:32:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sallymn/pseuds/Sally%20M
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Blair's navigating. 'Nuff said.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Road Trip

**Road Trip**

****

"Give me the map, Sandburg."

****

"Aww come on, man, don't you trust me?"

****

"Let me think about it... no. Give me the map."

****

"But we've got to be nearly there... hey, give that back!" {rip} "Now look... how am I supposed to read it in three parts?"

****

"No worse than you've done so far, Chief. So where the hell are we - or rather, where the hell do you _think _we are?"

****

"I'm wounded, Jim. And we're -" {rustle} "- somewhere between the yellow line and that big black dot." {silence} "Or maybe the red dot and the black line." {silence} "Or maybe not."

****

"You do know you're holding that bit upside-down."

****

"Look, if you want to take over the navigation, be my guest -"

****

"Give me the map."

****

"- But I take over the driving. Okay?" {silence} "That's what I thought. Mumble, talk about control freaks..." 

****

"I heard that, Darwin."

****

"You were meant to, Great Sentinel."

****

"You're not driving the truck. We don't have time for a side trip to Kansas."

****

"Mumble mumble smart-ass." 

****

"I heard that, too."

****

"Y'know, we really need tests to determine just how acute your hearing is. Lots of tests. Long, loud tests."

****

"I can hear just fine and that's all you need to know. So where are we now?"

****

"About five miles from where we were -" {snort} "Okay, okay." {rustle} "Here." {rustle} "Maybe."

****

"Great."

****

"Or not." {lengthy rustle} "Chill, man, and enjoy the scenery. I don't think we've been here before."

****

"Sandburg, since I started going places with you -"

****

"Hey, I like the sound of that." {snort}. "Stick with me and you'll go places."

****

"Yeah, right. I've seen a hell of a lot of this state that I had no plan -"

****

"It's called broadening your horizons. You should try it sometime."

****

"- Nor any burning _wish _to see."

****

"Come on, you gotta admit that some of its been interesting."

****

"The back roads of Ichin Lake, Greater and Lesser Sumpwatta, and Old Branestawm can be called a lot of things, Chief, but interesting isn't the one I'm thinking of."

****

"Be reasona- oh sorry man, I forgot."

****

"Forgot what?"

****

"Never mind. It's not a word you'd understand anyway."

****

"Forgot _what,_ Sandburg?"

****

"Never _mind_. You know, Sir Richard Burton -"

****

"The explorer-not-the-actor. Yeah, I think I've heard of him."

****

"Funny, Jim, funny. Well, he believed that Sentinels had a natural inborn sense of direction and using it - with their senses - they could always tell where they were and which direction they should go in, by using the natural world around them, wind currents, the lay of the land, the position of the sun and stars, maybe even the earth's magnetic field. Sort of like birds navigate, you know?"

****

"Great. First bats, now birds, it'll be bees next."

****

"Nah, I think you can handle that bit yourself. Anyway as I was saying, in tribal culture, Sentinels were able to _use_ all these things to give them a sense of direction beyond that of normal -"

****

"Yeah, well this isn't tribal culture, this Sentinel isn't in charge of what's left of the map, and his guide has a sense of direction that's as normal as a guided missile with no damned controls - so _give_ me that map, Chief."

****

"You malign me, Jim."

****

"Riiiiiight."

****

"No _really, _I'm maligned. Offended even. I've travelled all over the _world,_ man, and the times I got lost were... not my fault, okay?"

****

"Like you and Patagonia?"

****

{silence} "....What about me and Patagonia?"

****

"Your mom told me. About you and a trip to Patagonia."

****

{silence} "...._What_ about me and a trip to Patagonia?"

****

"You ended up in a convent in Paraguay."

****

"Oh. _That_ trip to Patagonia."

****

"There was more than one?"

****

"Nope. None. Nada - hey, I think that's our detour!"

****

"Where?"

****

"...Back there."

****

"Sandburg -"

****

"Chill, man, there's another one in.... twenty miles or so."

****

"Sandburg -!"

****

"Look at the scenery, Jim, just look at the scenery..." {silence} "Ummm... Jim."

****

"What?"

****

"That yellow line on the map."

****

"What?"

****

"Promise you won't get mad."

****

"....What is it, Sandburg?"

****

"Or make any more lame cracks about Kansas?"

****

{deep, not-very-patient sigh} "We're not in Kansas, Chief."

****

"Not in Kansas anymore, Jim. The line is not in Kansas _anymore..._"

****

"What...?"

****

"'Cause it might be me - I hope it's me, man - but does the road up ahead look awfully - like _yellow bricks _to you?"

****

_"Sandburg!"_

**

  
**\- the end -**   


**


End file.
